Two seemingly innocuous hooligans were arrested earlier today when they were found to be transporting two hundred (200) garbage bags full of packaging peanuts. They were asked to pull off to the curb but the car rumbled on erratically into the sidewalk instead. The police neglected to help the two hooligans out of the crash however, jumping instead onto the opened door to inspect their heavy load. While the two suspects (named here as Quatchi and Sumi) walked out woozily, claiming they couldn't drive properly due to garbage bags completely covering their rearview mirror, another police man handcuffed them immediately. The ensuing melee became messy as Sumi pleaded they had nothing to hide and that the peanuts were for "lessening the impact that me, gah, will have on everybody after holiday feasts" but the police reassure the public "it was for the safety of everyone."
The two punksters are scheduled for their court appearance six months from now.
In the meantime, Quatchi, the more punk like of the two, is quoted to say, "Looks like we're spending Christmas in jail again."
We hereby issue the wish that the public will remain safe this holiday season and not cause trouble because police men have families, too.
For more information visit this incorrectly reported but still viable link below: http://www.delta-optimist.com/news/Five+charged+after+dial+dope+operation+busted/7620746/story.html
