Today, we are taking advantage of the slow news and beautiful weather to bring you a highly sought after report on sasquatches, answering the question that is on everybody's minds.
That question is, Where do sasquatches live?
Or, Do I Live Near a Sasquatch, Thus Warranting a Move to a New Home?
Well, don't worry yet-even though you have seen sasquatches invading your local supermarket or parks, they certainly don't live near your home.
In fact, they live a variety of places that aren't fit for civilized humans.
#1 Mountain tops
With only spring water and natural wood to survive on, sasquatches from the mountains are definitely rough and tough. But they like to stay in their natural habitat, so we don't see that many mountain sasquatches in urban areas.
As we can imagine, wearing that coat of fur on unbearably hot summer days is excruciating. Thus, some sasquatches have taken to burying under the sand. Similar structures such as above are signs of sasquatch dwellings. Don't worry, though, sasquatches only like sea-lapped sand, not the sand in your stuffy sandbox.
Of the most worrying variety, some sasquatches have taken to sheltering themselves in urban doorways. These sasquatches, though friendlier because of their gentler nature, are too soft to live up in the mountains or bury in sand, so are more apparent. We have documented one of them, named Quatchi. We're still unsure as to how these sasquatches will affect citizen's daily lives but the need is felt to warn them of potential danger. Once, a sasquatch has been reported to steal the sandwich from a business man's suitcase and swallow it whole.
We hope our research has done the community a public service, and thank you for reading.
Stay tuned for more information regarding the mascots.
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