Daily WOWWWWWWWOWOW

Two seemingly innocuous hooligans were arrested earlier today when they were found to be transporting two hundred (200) garbage bags full of packaging peanuts. They were asked to pull off to the curb but the car rumbled on erratically into the sidewalk instead. The police neglected to help the two hooligans out of the crash however, jumping instead onto the opened door to inspect their heavy load. While the two suspects (named here as Quatchi and Sumi) walked out woozily, claiming they couldn't drive properly due to garbage bags completely covering their rearview mirror, another police man handcuffed them immediately. The ensuing melee became messy as Sumi pleaded they had nothing to hide and that the peanuts were for "lessening the impact that me, gah, will have on everybody after holiday feasts" but the police reassure the public "it was for the safety of everyone."
The two punksters are scheduled for their court appearance six months from now.

In the meantime, Quatchi, the more punk like of the two, is quoted to say, "Looks like we're spending Christmas in jail again."
We hereby issue the wish that the public will remain safe this holiday season and not cause trouble because police men have families, too. 

For more information visit this incorrectly reported but still viable link below: http://www.delta-optimist.com/news/Five+charged+after+dial+dope+operation+busted/7620746/story.html

Daily WOW

Several complaints were filed when a pink and purple clothed employee at starbucks continually botched ordereds today. For example, Sunny was notated as Gunny and Tom was heard as Bomb. The only order that didn't stand uncorrected, it seems, was Dominant's order, as he did not file a complaint. Investigation continues about the origins of this femininely dressed worker.

Daily WOW

As we all know, Miga made the ingenius choice of living in res with Ems. Well, although he's not eating rocks anymore, Miga still has complaints: The caf food is pretty boring. Even though Miga gets his fair share by sneaking into Em's backpack, the imitation chinese food, old desserts and spinach is getting as interesting as solid pellets of earth. In fact, Miga has dreams of eating stuff like this:

every night as a result of malnutrition. 

We hope you will be generous and donate money to him soon.

Daily WOW-Spelling Woes

Miga was very disappointed today when his order from Mbay arrived. Although it was perfectly packaged, Miga knew immediately that something was wrong when he saw the name. Upon unboxing, that dread turned to horror, and Miga felt his heart break. The $150 (or 10 months of wow) Crackpot was really just an ordinary Crockpot.
*no image is available as Miga was too upset to provide an interview

Daily WOW-Disappearing Food

Miga was one disappointed miga this morning when he cooked some rocks for breakfast, turned around to open wow, and found his bowl emptied. Using his unparalleled powers of observation, Miga found that the sides were scraped clean as if somebody had scarfed it all down, rather than dump it carelessly into the garbage. Outraged but still hungry, Miga then made another bowl of lumpy rocks and enjoyed his WOW with a full stomach.

WOW!

Daily WOW SUPER SPECIAL POST

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!!!!

*funny

*great handyman

*professional driver

*good cook

*hardworking

*MIGAAAZZZZZ

This post is Migazzz approved

(sneak preview of upcoming post)

Daily WOW

Danger! Danger! Spike felt his life was endangered tonight when he was first pinned to a corkboard with his own quills, and then an opened bottle of honey toppled off the shelf above him and began to pour. Sticky and blinded by the honey, Spike wondered if his quills would ever reach Quatchi's pro Q shine ever again when the honey lubricated his quills and forced him loose. Falling one hundred feet, Spike landed on Miga (ouch) and survived.

Daily WOW-Find Quatchi #4

Find Quatchi.

You're not bored of this, are you?

Daily WOWOW

Some very scandalous activity happened yesterday. Luckily, Sumi was there at the scene with his Ray Bans on to testify.

A black clothed man was seen chasing after a black truck, which was swerving around black coloured fire hydrants. The man was holding a black bag of what was probably illegal substances, which spilled out on the road and were black, too. Sumi ran up to a black payphone (those thiefs sure were thorough with their black scheme) and was still standing coolly on scene staring through his ultra cool sunglasses when the police arrived in their (always) black cars. Sumi went home after and went to sleep soon after because the sunglasses made his room seem like night.

Daily WOW-FInd Quatchi #3

Find Quatchi:

Daily WOWWOWWOWWOWWOWOWOW - Koala boot

This is a guest post by an acclaimed blog writer

Vat do ve have here? Vell, it is a Miga in a gi-gantic kuala boot! Hoot! Look at thim revel in his glory, standing proud in his new undervear. 

Tis such a beautiful momento, not it is? Oui, monsieur, it is. Tres bien. Irresitiable. 

Daily WOW Find Quatchi #2

Find Quatchi. 

Daily WOW

Curses filled the air last morning as the Skytrain, the ultra convenient public vehicle in the city of Vancouver, was stalled for reasons unknown except to those in the front of the car. A quatchi had been found sleeping on the train tracks just ahead, and authorities had trouble reaching the section of tracks and getting the Sasquatch to awaken. While some asked for the train to go on regardless, the bus company didn't want to be responsible for unnecessary animal deaths and so the train was stopped for a full hour. After the train was running again, the passengers forgot what the wait had been for, eager to get to their destinations. The bus company offers its sincerest apologies. No words can be said about the sasquatch, which ran away after being wrestled down.

174 days

Daily WOW

Today, we are taking advantage of the slow news and beautiful weather to bring you a highly sought after report on sasquatches, answering the question that is on everybody's minds. 

That question is, Where do sasquatches live?

Or, Do I Live Near a Sasquatch, Thus Warranting a Move to a New Home? 

Well, don't worry yet-even though you have seen sasquatches invading your local supermarket or parks, they certainly don't live near your home. 

In fact, they live a variety of places that aren't fit for civilized humans.

#1 Mountain tops

With only spring water and natural wood to survive on, sasquatches from the mountains are definitely rough and tough. But they like to stay in their natural habitat, so we don't see that many mountain sasquatches in urban areas.

 #2 Underground

As we can imagine, wearing that coat of fur on unbearably hot summer days is excruciating. Thus, some sasquatches have taken to burying under the sand. Similar structures such as above are signs of sasquatch dwellings. Don't worry, though, sasquatches only like sea-lapped sand, not the sand in your stuffy sandbox.

 #3Doorways

Of the most worrying variety, some sasquatches have taken to sheltering themselves in urban doorways. These sasquatches, though friendlier because of their gentler nature, are too soft to live up in the mountains or bury in sand, so are more apparent. We have documented one of them, named Quatchi. We're still unsure as to how these sasquatches will affect citizen's daily lives but the need is felt to warn them of potential danger. Once, a sasquatch has been reported to steal the sandwich from a business man's suitcase and swallow it whole.

We hope our research has done the community a public service, and thank you for reading.

Stay tuned for more information regarding the mascots.

Daily WOW at Garry Point

Garry Point was a very beautiful place, although not NEARLY as beautiful as buntzen lake (The dreams of boating there ended as soon as the boats were off sale and no lifejackets could be donated to the thriftstore) Yet there was water there, too, a murky blue kind of still ocean.

There was a bunch of people there as well, many of them flying kites or picnicking or playing ball in the small stadium formed by the spindly trees. Naturally, we were one of the picnickers. We forged our own path by picking a spot in the rocky garden that somehow nobody else was brave enough to claim. 

Or, maybe, they just didn't want to appear homeless as they did: 

Overall, Ems was ecstatic over her $3.75/8 pc raw scallop sushi from Pricesmart (why doesn't UBC sell this?!) and the rest of the family enjoyed other Pricesmart goodies like dim sum and spring rolls and homecooked rice. There is something urban and yet ourdoorsy about using environmentally disastrous foam dinnerwear and disposable chopsticks. After a yummy meal, Ems and mams went off to take pictures of the beautiful place and we all know about Doms and dayds, as exemplified by the picture above. It was a lazy, but quick trip, but a good one. Funnily enough the park is close to the area we always travel too, yet today is the first day we've been there. Good thing we went there while the weather was still great-breezy and cold but with a strong undercurrent of sunshine.

Mischief to come.

Daily WOW-WOW picture

Find Quatchi 

Daily WOW -Letgo

Apparently, Quatchi had been missing for an entire week before anybody noticed:

He had been last seen drawing furiously on endless reams of paper with the music in his earphones loud enough for neighbours across the street to wince at the foul language. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why people were relieved, rather than worried, when the sasquatch disappeared.

But one week later, when his owner visited Aberdeen centre, he was surprised to see a structure that closely resembled one of the drawings the sasquatch had made. Now, we all know sasquatches are hunted because of their mischevious, mysterious ways, but though a sasquatch clearly had stamped his footprint next to the creator's name on the sign, nobody saw the need for an alert.

In fact, for once, people just enjoyed the amazing display of Lego and let it go.

 

Daily WOW

Allegedly, Miga walked into a dim litted, not well known restaurant of questionable ethnic cuisine yesterday and left no less than five hours later. The moment he walked out, the doors were shut and a "closed" sign put up, to the sighs of a few hungry customers waiting outside.  Something like this hasn't happened since the grand opening of Soyummy Sushi with its free sushi samples that ran out during that day. One of the hungry bystanders was generous enough to provide us with a photo of the food they served inside, taken through the store window: 

Supposedly, when they were told the restaurant was closing five hours early for the night, all the carts of food had been emptied and Miga by himself in the restaurant. Some people speculate Miga threatened the restaurant owners to give him all the food for free but others believe he just stomached it himself on the spot. Either way, that's  big bill somebody's going to have to pay.

Daily WOW-Quatch Avalanche

Nobody claims to quite know what happened. But it seems quite clear to the residents of the area that the Quatchis that rolled off the moutains in waves yesterday were the result of piles and piles of ready made quatchies that never made it to the store. The Quatchies allegedly had been piled so high that the slightest puff of summer wind sent them tumbling. Last night , though, as we all know, winds were at full speed and thus, a Quatch avalanche was sent roaring down the mountainside.

Luckily, no citizens at the mountain base were hurt and in fact a car crash was cushioned by the wall of Quatchis. The quatchies: (picture credit: anonymous)

The mountainside: 

After the initial rumbling was over, citizens left their homes to check out the status of the avalanche. Soon, trucks came onto the soon to transport the quatches to stores. Now they're being sold for free at select stores if you spend $5. 

Sample Quatchi rack as a result of the Quatchi Avalanche: (picture credit: anonymous)

Daily WOW-mind boggling photo

Just thought we should remind you:

This is what the bottom of trees look like.

Daily WOW-mind boggling photo

To relive the good memories, here is a mind boggling photo for you to enjoy:

It's tilt shifted, so the entire area appears to be in miniature. If that in itself doesn't capture the enclosed, safe feeling the place brings, remind yourself that Buntzen Lake is actually quite large and not something you can fit in your hand.

This is summer as it should be.

BLT (Buntzen Lake Trolls)

It's too bad we trolled last week and didn't come here. If we had, we could guarantee you a lot more action shots, but with what we have now, we'll have to make do.

After a GSP enhanced drive, we arrived at Buntzen Lake, passing all the people on foot struggling to carry the packs on their backs.

From the first sight of the trees and faraway sylvan mountains, we were hooked on its big nature playground atmosphere.

Luckily, because did not come by foot, there was no need to walk 2 K. But we did traverse a short while, passing this sign, which reminded us suspiciously of a certain sasquatch.

Easily and euphorically, the gem like lake was revealed to us:

We trolled for several hours there, eating, taking pictures, and exploring. We even dipped our toes in the water, despite our fear of sticky sand.

Again, had we come last time, we could have been prepared with boats (as shown below) and picnicked on the meadow-like shores.

 Just to prove we trolled:

167 days

DAILY WOWOWOW

Today was English 12 provincials.
Doms finished his provincial with that trademark smirk of his and we drove off.
To food, that is.
Oh by the way while we were waiting I saw a couple of my old classmates-glad to see them, sad that I had to see them there.

We originally planned to go to Mcdonalds to bring our deaths one step closer but opted for Scottsdale's small but scrumptious array of minirestaurants instead. Dayds and bro got the same rice/noodle/meat combo, stacked together like layers in a cake, while Ems chanced it with tuna rolls. Thank god they were raw tuna and not canned. Pretty good, if you asked me. Afterwards we shot ourselves in Saveonfoods to get junk/snacks/necessities even though we were full.
Oh yeah and that smirk on Dom's face? It was because of this dramatic story he wrote. If he's nice, he'll add an excerpt here:












***
He'll also include a picture of the place we ate at:

Watch out for our trip this Saturday!




168 days

Daily WOWOWOW

Perfect day to take pictures of paddleboating, yes...but the only kind of boating that should have been done in this weather is the motorized kind. Blazing hot on an interminably slow boat, and at $30 an hour, it was an hour well spent that flew by like the sweat that flew off our skin, with the main goal being to paddle half way through Deer Lake and then madly paddling back. Views were okay. We'll let you decide:


Afterwards, we went to metrotown, calmed by its cool interiors and excited by its bright lights. After some sushi (start of Em's sushi trend) and iced drinks, we walked around until we were ready to go home after the adventure.

160 days

Daily WOW sumshi #2

It seems that the alarming franchise that began with Soyummy Sushi has spread. While shopping hungrily at Ikea, customers noticed a "surprise meal of the day for $1" and dropped money without much thinking. The meal was housed in a black, rectangular plastic box with some soy sauce sticking out. Thinking it was some exotic asian meal, the customers opened the box and scarfed down the meal. Only later did a fussy child point out that the "delicious, heavenly" meal was Sumshi. Afterwards, customers rushed through the doors of Ikea as the word spread of the delicious new deal. In fact, traffic backed up for miles around Ikea during the daily special. However, the next day the deal or any info about it had gone, leaving the citizens to wonder if they had just dreamed the whole thing.

162 days

Daily WOWOW B&W

Citizens are now being warned of the Miga syndrome due to an unusual encounter with a Miga last night. As the light as failing, a passenger was waiting sleepily for the Skytrain when a black and white animal flashed by in his peripheral vision. Straining to see it in the dark, the man saw multiple flashes of this animal before he was sure it was a Miga, and, frightened, kept a constant lookout for it until his train came. Well, when he looked up again, the world appeared black and white. This was believed to be caused by excessive Miga watching. Due to Migas' black and white nature, excessive concentration on one can lead to temporary color blindness. 

Computer simulation of station under Miga syndrome:

163 days

DAILY WOWOWO EXTREME

164  days

Daily WOW

An unsuspecting young bakery worker was pushing along a cart of cakes when an onslaught of Migas stopped her progress. The migas allegedly bowled her over and leaped onto the cake rack, stealing every cake. When the worker was finally able to look around, the Migas had gone. However, the next day, tiny pieces of cake could be seen smeared and running down the walls of the nearby parking lot.

165 days

Daily WOWOWOW

Though it's a well known fact that Quatchies can change color, an alarming discovery was made today regarding the color capabilities of Sumis. Though we are not quite sure if their color change is assisted (like sasquatches) or inherent, the public is warned of pink and purple Sumis. The color pink is supposed to soften anybody, but don't be fooled. These warmly coloured Sumis are just as dangerous as the others.

Because of their coloring, these Sumis have been found snacking in raspberry bushes, in paint stores, and even in bouquets, all going unnoticed until the telltale burp. 

168 days

Daily WOW

We didn't have anything scandalous for you today so we thought we'd challenge your  brain for once. School is about to start, you know.

169 days 

Daily WOW-Guest post by Quatchi

Hi there, hairy and non hairy peoples!!
This is QUATchi here!!
I've got nothing better to do, so I'm going to educate you people in what I know best:
MOULD!!
Now, you can demystify the mystery that makes this:

Into this!

The very simple solution of course is eating the food. That is what sasquatches need 10-20 meals a day. If they didn't, their food would rot!
Keep your food from changing into unecessary colours now and do it the sasquatch way!
Quatch quatch!!






170 days

You can also purchase my book on this for only $15

Daily WOW

Free Sumi Lattes at Starbucks today. Get yours now! *

*must purchase a sub, yogurt, 10 drinks, 5 baked goods, and bring a picture of a Sumi in order to receive your offer.

171 days

Daily WOW-Miga Migration

With the onslaught of Sumis, Migas seemed to have picked up on the cue to migrate, too. The mascots were seen in their rare form (as a whale) as opposed to spirit bear form. One Miga, however, was known to stand out as he was a bear/whale hybrid. The Miga swam behind the pack and tried to ram itself into the Sumi's ferry. However, the public can be assured that both these animals have no interest in harming the operations of humans and that their migration should decrease the numbers in cities. A full report on their migration route can be found here:

172 days